So for those of you who follow me, you may have noticed that I had a mental breakdown this morning. I believe it is time for me to address this as it is a fairly common occurrence with me.
Let's get right into it: I have SEVERE depression and struggle on a daily basis with suicidal thoughts and self-hatred. This gets amplified early in the morning for reasons I'm sure you all understand.
I take serotonin and norepenephrine precursor supplements, which help, but obviously don't fix the underlying causes. I've been checked and it turns out I have a monoamine deficiency, which means my body has a hard time making the above neurotransmitters, and because I'm an internet sadboi, I stay home in my room 24/7. This is obviously not a good combination.
I've told all my irl "friends" what's going on but only one of them seems to care. Really the only people I have left are you guys.
Lately I've been developing social anxeity and my reasons for not leaving the house are changing. This is not a good sign, as things can only go downhill from here :/
So, in the next few weeks, I will force myself to socialize and will try to make new friends so I can be sane while I'm away from the internet, so sorry if i go inactive (but we all know that's probably gonna fail lmao).
If worst comes to worst, I'll have the suicide prevention hotline and 911 on standby.
Thanks for understanding.
<3 you all