Chipotle is trash- the fact its at the top of people "favorite fastfood" lists genuine baffels me. like, are you allergic to quality?? Chipotle isn’t “good” or even comparably so. Its an expensive, inconsistent, sorry softball exuse of a burrito feining off 2013 nastalgia for damn daniel.

This shit is so inconcistent. I kid you not, you can walk into one Chipotle and get a burrito the size of a newborn baby- and then the one less a mile down the road will ration out portions like were in the trenches of WW1. For quite litterally the same order and price, you will get VASTLY different experiences. Its like playing russian roulete with portions and at the end of the day being consistentantly disapointed.

AND THEIR CHIPS ARE DOO DOO. I dont understand how people can eat Chipotle's chips and not get lips more swollen the Kylie Jenner. Theres so much salt that it feels like biting out of a sea anemone with just a hint of lime. And the worst part? is its always stale. They let their chips sit out allll day with not sort of contingency on them going bad. By the time you get your rock hard (fway) chips and solid block of flavorless quesso, you're thinking "damn, for 3 dollars more, i coulda gone to moes and gotten a better quality meal." AND LIKE WHY NOT???

In this economy, Chipotle is not longer a "worth it" option, now its just pricey. When im having to debate filling my tank or buying a burrito something is drasticly wrong with your prices. Costco hotdogs are STILL 1.50 BTW!!! The audacity to charge me $16 for poorly wrapped lukewarm chicken is almost respectable- but im still disputing the charge. You wouldent catch me at a Chipotle unless I was half a bottle of tiquela down and on my way to new mexico.

Speaking of mexicans, why does every Chipotle smell the same?? It has the lingering distinct oder of a sterile, vaguely metallic cumin cloud that seeps into your clothes and follows you home like a reminder of poor decisions. Its like if hospital food was designed for illegal aliens.

“I could eat Chipotle every day.” Yeah, who are you lying to brittny? Your boyfriend? You probably like plain oatmeal to huh? A lil to scared of pepper? Is it too spicy for you? want to pay an extra $5 for QUAC ON THAT????

Chipotle isn’t awful because it’s disgusting (but it very much is) its disgustang because for all it promises it ALWAYS underdelivers. You are teased with a premium burrito- hell- you even pay the prices, but get nothing but an empty wallet and a small paper bag of "fuck you!"

Chipotle isn’t food, its trash. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.