What Have I Done?!

"I just wanted today to be good... just once. just one birthday where everything didn't feel heavy. I thought the movies would make everyone smile. I thought... I thought it would fix things. And now I'm sitting here in the smoke, listening to everything fall apart, and all I can think is that I did this. If I hadn't asked to come here... If I hadn't begged them to go... They'd still be alive. I should've pulled them out. I should've been stronger. Why wasn't I enough? Why couldn't I save them? Why did it have to be my birthday? I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't mean for any of it. What have I done..."