tomorrow will be better

damn i've really been depressed for this whole junior year and i think i should make new songs that reflect on my emotions, so this album is going to be different. 1) name your price - there's this guy who recently found out i liked him and now he's not talking to me. i'm so frustrated because he knew i was gay and was flirting with me and now he stops talking to me?!?! i really want his heart tho, but i know i can't have that, so i want his body, all he has to do is name his price. 2) better boy - the feeling that maybe i'm not developed as some other boys is constantly on my mind, but even though i'm not special, i'm special in my own way. so i have to come in terms with that i will always be the better boy and there's no one else like me. 3) sex on the beach/ livin' the dangerous life - my fantasies that will never happen to me is expressed through sex on the beach and livin' the dangerous consist of me always doing risky things and one day i might pay for them. 3) save face - he doesn't love you sheldon. you ran him away, you turned him straight. he wants a girlfriend, he doesn't love you, but don't show him that effects you. save face, because maybe he'll get with you again. 4) to you - what am i to you? i just want to be more. i've never experienced a feeling like this, so can you blame me for getting this depressed about it? i just want to be wanted and loved by someone who cares. so let me be more, not only to you, but for you. 5) not a big fan - i try to be more, i try to stand out, but it's like every guy i want aren't just a fan of who i am? what i like? and how i operate. it makes me feel alone, i don't feel hopeful at all, i'm in pain 90% of the time i breathe. what's wrong with me? why no one wants to be with me? 6) siff storm - it's explanatory to be honest. not only do i treat this as a glimpse for a future ep, but a playground for my current mental state. i breathe, inhale, exhale such negativity that i don't know what to do with myself. 7) cowpoke - a little fun track i somewhat made with my ex, yes he's the guy i've been talking about in 90% of my tracks, but we're both in texas and i'd like to think it's also a little jab to vanqueros. 8) french me - a simple relaxing track and a plea for anybody to french me. i need it. no, i crave it. 9) leave me alone - whenever i'm depressed, and i'm usually a social butterfly, people ask what's wrong and I TELL THEM TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. YOU CAN'T HELP ME, NOR SAVE ME. ugh, what's wrong with me? 10) t.i.n.g - i close the track with t.i.n.g - there is no god, a fucking ravenous psychedelic track. This track symbolizes how weird I am, and lowkey edgy. but it also symbolizes my dream to be famous hence the camera flashes. it's actually a different kind of closing then i normally do and i like it. it's not that depressing, but kind of hopeful it's in own way. when i first made it, it was 2 minutes long and i knew it needed to be longer. hell, even 4 minutes and 18 seconds isn't enough. [6th studio album] [conclusion] i always make tracks being hopeful and i'm done being hopeful, nothing is going to chance and that's the joke of it all. the title is ironic.