One thing I need to say. No matter what it is, I need the freedom to feel. And a world of only happiness is an unrealistic, dare I say awful world. Because if there arent downs, there is no ups. I know it hurts you, just know that Im more OK actually feeling. Thats what makes it worth it, isnt it? I need to say this and I dont want to be selfish and the way I cope is not always healthy, but at least I feel like a person, like I exist. I just hope we arent cut-off. Its better that way.
We are here now. The past is told, the future still left unsaid. Barely answers to what we dont understand. A need, an urge for clarity. For something way above myself. Perfection has a false name, mistakes and wrongs may only be if we see them that way. Im no one to tell as Im faulty myself, but thats what makes me real. The abyss may gaze, the thoughts overwhelm, wrong ideals we made for ourselves, but when you preach forgiveness you should also preach it to yourself. The past has been told, the future - left unsaid. And if theres not yet an end there will be a next step. No matter where or what will happen, something will be. And that has to be enough, it has to be!
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Im sorry about those things and I hope you will forgive me. I just hope youre OK.
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And if you don't want to talk anymore afterwards, if it's better for you, I'm okay with that. I just want to know that you still are, my friend, that's all. (2)
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IDK whats right, Im sorry, I dont know if I can ever change. Of f***ing course I want to be happy. I just believe that I need the whole spectrum. Just know that Im OK, doing well, even if there are some dumb ass stupid little episodes I had you have to suffer through what Ive said on here about me, but please just worry and care about yourself. Thats the most important thing. All I need to know is that you're still here and you're at least managing it. It's all I need to know... (1)
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