I agree with Tony Molina, it's a good start. Maybe bring in the transition at ~
2:30
a minute or so earlier? Sometimes I'll give the listener a short preview near the beginning/middle of a change that will come later in the song. Also, I feel like we need a bigger departure somewhere, something totally unexpected. Keep up the good work! :)
it's OK ...but you can do it better ....I understand the meaning of the song, but something is missing, something that makes me keep this song in my head, you know what I mean? ...