Some notes sound out of tune, so maybe go back and check them out. Another thing is maybe switch up the drums, go half-time, add some swing to them, or something similar; just change them up. I like the concept overall, it could just use a little polish to help it out.
I could link you a couple of my tracks so you can take a listen to them, get a feel for how they go and whatnot. Or, if you want, I could invite you to a couple chiptune tracks i've published so you can look at how I arranged them theory-wise
put an exciter set to 20hz on your kicks to make them trappy
Some notes sound out of tune, so maybe go back and check them out. Another thing is maybe switch up the drums, go half-time, add some swing to them, or something similar; just change them up. I like the concept overall, it could just use a little polish to help it out.