archyikes ☮

47 Followers 26 Following Joined about 5 years ago

he/they/any

antinatilism

De-growth

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alternative names: stupidito, idiocyi, idyiot, miseryi

IDC

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The trash archive: Scrapyard (pls remix these) - make use of these even if there is no use to them pls

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Life's a bad joke. But I guess at least someone finds it funny. So who cares? Nobody. Do your thing, no matter who opens their mouth.

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Music just sounds better when there's something to run away from.

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the official waste basket account.

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  • Life be like:

    Die bitch die die already

    God forbid a mothefucker wants to speed the process up. People look all weird at you.

  • Yes my life does end then.

    I've never had the opportunity to live as a kid. By the time I'm done with school it is over. I'm not young anymore. I thought I'd have the opportunity to live like it, but there was never anything to begin with. I spent highschool depressed. I can't get those years back.

    Now it's too late to do the things I wanted to do. Not (just) because I won't have the time anymore, but because I strayed from the right path and there is no way back.

    • I'm just trying to stay around. I don't want to die. I still want to experience some life before the time comes.

      I'm scared of death and somehow it sometimes seems that death itself is less scary than the fear of it.

    • My rulebook tells me to not be happy if I'm this unhealthy. My rulebook tells me that I can't be happy if I'm this confused and it tells me I can't be happy if I'm thinking things that goes against my rulebook and understanding of morals.

      Perhaps just living on is enough, but I kinda doubt it is. Worst part is that it feels like I made absolutely 0 progress and my body throws chronic tantrums just to spite me.

    • I understand it.

      I made my rules an they are twisted to a degree. My highest value has somehow become getting rid of myself, whether that is rational or not.

      I'm just really trying hard to feel at least some happiness where most of the time I find myself with a complete lack of. TBH most of the time I'd love to feel SOMETHING, no matter what (other than dread and anxiety). It's hard to find joy again, but I guess it's there and I'm just blind and suffering my actions/inaction.

    10 more
  • They say s is selfish

    Yeah fucking right. What is more selfish? Putting a person in this situation in the first place or wanting to leave

    Fuck you.

    • Yes

      Every single treatment option should come first. And things work for most people.

      But those who have a terminal illness or something like that deserve that mercy if there's really nothing else waiting for them.

      No one can control this shit anyway.

      YOUR BODY, YOUR LIFE, YOUR CHOICE!

      And if you decide to go, you are not sick or wrong or somehow broken. You just exist within terrible circumstances. The funny part is that not being judged for this shit usually helps people live on.

    • Calling it selfish is deprivation of your own autonomy. This is inherent dogma without thought put into it. Psychology and pathopsychology are very flawed. Just look at the crossovers of personality disorders, autism, ADHD, the lack of solid knowledge of depression shown through different types and the focus on using SSRIs and shit.

    • You're not put here because you fucking wanted. But all independent choices and saying in this is ripped off by the moral code of the oh so goddamn sacred life. And you know what happens when you question this? They call you fucking sick and lock you up. As if they had ANY insight on what your experience is or even whether they are right or not. I'm not saying the system is malicious, but it is inherently flawed.

    1 more
  • Ya know

    Consent to life would be a cool thing to exist. Pity no one can sign it before they're pooped out into it.

  • Oh it would be SOOO HORRIBLE if I just suddenly passed out and never came back rn it would SUUUCK just SOO MUUUCH. I would HATE THAT!

  • I can't build genuine relationships

    Not even friendships

    I don't care about people at all. Except for my family.

    I would die for them. But those who want to be friends, all they'll get is hurt at one point. Because of my indifference and avoidance.

    But I just don't want to hurt someone and then live with even more guilt than I already do.

  • I want to go

    I can't

    I have no saying in this bs

    • I hate myself

    • There's nothing this world has that I want

      If there was some promise I would get it, I'd just go ahead and...

      but no

      It's probably all just hell

      As long as I'm there, everywhere is hell.

  • It would all be OK if I lived for myself. But I don't. I don't have a reason. I don't have the motivation. But I have about a trillion reasons not to.

  • My 666th comment

    I'm scared of the future. I'm supposed to have a job soon. Live actual life. I can't live actual life. I straight up find it unbearable. If I could make enough money by selling my music or doing commissions, I'd live in heaven. I'd work my ass off and be moderately happy about it. But that's just a beautiful illusion.

    • How the fuck can I possibly do this?

    • I'm a mentally and physically ill asocial weirdo with a speech impairment. I'm borderline unemployable.

  • Stupid family

    Screw these disfunctional idiots.

  • I like how those who will never be in any deep shit open their mouths and criticise you for expressing deep pain or feelings in general. Like you DON'T know what actual shame, pain, depression or grief is. You're not even self-conscious enough to ever experience this shit, you don't have the brains to think about the big picture and you've never learnt to look inward in any way shape or form.

    sybau

    I will not console you if you come crawling to me later.

  • This place is death, I know you feel the same

  • Knižný klub Košice 🤪

  • Is there any time and any situation in my life where feeling good doesn't have shitty consequences?

    2 more