The Fear Inside Me

"I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. Every time I breathe, it feels like something inside me cracks a little more. I keep telling myself I'm fine, that no one needs to worry, that I can hold it together... but I can't. I see the fire every time I close my eyes. I hear their voices in the quiet. I feel the weight of everything I couldn't save. And I smile. I joke. I pretend. Because if they knew what I really am underneath... they'd run. They'd see the scars, the fear, the shaking, the part of me that never healed. They'd see the monster I'm terrified I've become. I don't want to break again. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be this thing that fear built out of me. But I can't escape it. It's inside me. It's always been inside me. And I don't know how much longer I can keep it quiet."